Situation vacant

Drs Clarke and Duca are soliciting applications for the following role:

Wife

Duties to include: 

Choosing and buying Christmas and other required gifts.
Writing and sending Christmas cards.
Organisation of social life.
General emotional care taking.
Laundry.
Shopping - groceries and clothes.

Plus....all the other stuff our mums used to do that we don't have time for.

Nb conjugal duties will be waived.

Pay: miserable.

We look forward to reading your application.